By Sally Lanham

People are calling, almost every day.  It must be the case that they are working down their wedding "To Do" list and have to put a check mark by:

 _____ Call the lawyer about pre-nup

I generally receive three kinds of calls. The first one comes from the groom who would like to make sure that his bride signs the agreement that his parents’ long- time lawyer drafted.  This person is usually younger and wants me to meet with the bride and convince her that the document has no meaning.  The groom's parents intend to give "them" a house or car or a large sum of money. The gift is to both, but just in case it does not work out . . . they want to make sure that it stays on the "correct" side of the family. 

The second type of call comes from the bride who was given a pre-nuptial to sign out of the blue.  The future spouse has been through a divorce or two and knows that such a document might be helpful. She is usually the member of the family that has fewer assets, and she is oftentimes very confused.  She is seeking some legal help and does not want to do something in haste.  She knows if she does not sign there will be no wedding.

The last situation is the person whose future mate forgot to mention to her prior to their engagement that he has $128,964.04 outstanding in unpaid child support.  And by the way, he hasn’t filed any tax returns for the last 8 years because the refunds would have been "diverted."

In cases like these, a pre-nuptial agreement could help.  And even if there aren’t these kinds of problems, it is still a very good idea for engaged couples to think about and discuss how they are going to run their financial lives and manage their property.  It just needs to happen early in the planning and not two weeks before the wedding. 

A pre-nuptial agreement should be drafted, reviewed and discussed before the reception hall is rented, before the honeymoon reservations are made and before the caterer is chosen.   Parties need time for full disclosure. They need to know and understand what they are signing. Each party should also have his or her own attorney. Signatures must be given without the pressure of family flying in for the rehearsal dinner.

As a general rule, I won't even talk with anyone unless our first meeting is at least 60 days before the wedding.   If the time is any shorter, I will meet only if we are working on a post-nuptial agreement. 

Please move the “call the lawyer” higher up on the "To Do" list.  
  
Sally Lanham is a family law attorney with the Mikkelborg law firm.  She works with people in all aspects of their relationships with other family members.   She helps people with adoptions, pre- and post-nuptial agreements.  The firm also handles domestic partnership agreements, wills and estate planning, divorces, paternity suits and other related matters.