By Sally Lanham

 

Many of our clients have been through a divorce and have found it to be a costly and unsettling process. They have vowed never to tie that particular knot again. Imagine their surprise when they are served documents that look and read like divorce papers. They are involved in a legal action because the State of Washington recognizes something called a “meretricious relationship,” or a stable family-like relationship between two unmarried cohabitants. 

 

While there is a constitutional ban on “common law marriage”, in 1984 the courts in this state found applying the same rules to property division to be “just and equitable” if such a relationship is to end. In other words, you can live with someone, never set a wedding date, and still have to seek a divorce through the legal system.

 

Because there is no “date of marriage” to consider, the courts have developed a long list of what are called “factors” that are considered in each case. The list is not an exclusive list nor do all the factors need to be present for such a relationship to exist.   No one factor is more important than the other. New ones can always be considered by the trial court. 

 

The current factors include:

 

•             Length and stability of relationship

•             Ability to marry

•             Joint bank accounts and comingling of funds

•             Joint purchase of property

•             Wills or powers of attorney naming the other

•             Beneficiary designations for retirement /insurance

•             Children born of the marriage

•             Child rearing of each other’s children

•             Whether or not the community considers the people to be a “couple”

•             Joint debt

•             Joint titles to vehicles or real property

•             Whether there was ever a ceremony or failed attempt to be married

•             Contributions to the parties' time and money

•             Parties intent at the time property was acquired

•             Exchange of rings

 

 

Many of these relationships come about gradually and without much intent. For example, it is not uncommon for one of the parties to be away from home for months at a time. During the absence, a trusted employee, later girlfriend might be asked to handle things at home. Maybe she moves in to help housesit and care for the dog and the yard. She might help arrange some minor remodeling.   Bills need to be paid, so her name is added to the bank account. A new car is ordered and it arrives while the real owner is out to see, so she arranges financing with a long time banker. Because she will be driving the car, she is added to the title and the insurance. It only makes sense to have her hold the power of attorney for everything, not just for a single transaction. Arranging for both families to go on vacation seems like a great plan after everyone has worked so hard.  

 

A few years pass, business is good. Assets are purchased, houses are remodeled under the care of the cohabitants and then it all falls apart. The very valuable items earned or purchased during the relationship must be accounted for and divided.

 

The courts are going to divide the property in a “just and equitable” manner. What is fair and equitable is not easy to define. Once the “relationship” is found to exist, the court must find equity and divide property. This is an area of the law that is ever changing and every growing as new decisions are made by the courts. It is safe to say that the courts are expanding the rights of the “couple” rather than contracting them. 

 

If you find yourself in such a situation, it might be too late to deny the relationship and back out without repercussions. The best thing to do is see if there is a way to do a co-habitation agreement. The parties can make decisions between themselves.   These agreements live in the world of contract law and are binding on both parties. Each party needs an attorney and there needs to be full and fair disclosure. Such an agreement could save a lot of time, heartache and money in the future.

 

Just remember actions speak louder than words.